Monday, April 24, 2006

Why Dr. Polaris is a poser wannabe

Puh-lease! Dr. Polaris? What a wimpy loser!

It takes the entire force of the entire X-Men to even try to foil one of my brilliant plans whereas Polaris gets his ass handed to him by Black Lightening, one of the third tier heroes of the Distinguished Competition. And I can't even count how many times Green Lantern has beaten him. One rinky-dink hero with gaudy jewelry for a power and Polaris folds like a soggy taco.

Yes, it's true. The X-Men have managed to delay my plans from time to time. But that is only because I restrain myself in combat with them. Yes, that's right. I hold back. Why? Because they are fellow mutants following a misguided naive leader. I pity them for their idealistic simplistic and flawed view of the world. And so I spare their lives. Rather than push our battles to the point where I am forced to slaughter them, I simply withdraw. Oh, and I could slaughter them if I wanted to.

My power is virtually unlimited. At the Earth's core is a giant metallic ball floating in a sea of lava. This ball emanates a magnetic field that surrounds the entire planet. My mutant gift lets me control this field, and therefore, in a sense, control the entire planet. I am the most powerful being in all of existence! Bwwaahahhaahaa!!!!
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