Monday, June 05, 2006

Defeating the X-Men is just sooo much fun!

Wolverine and his annoying X-Friends stood in my way. No one stands in my way. Not when I'm rescuing a beautiful damsel in distress. Our two groups stood watching each other for a moment and then as if with one mind, we all charged at each other.

The Blob engaged some new recruit of theirs. I think his name is Kodiak. Pyro was beaten by a scantily clad woman in a bikini. If that loser is going to be defeated by a girl, then he might as well go back to his stupid rock band.

Wolverine stood defiantly in front of me. Doesn't that fool realize by now that I control him? As I attacked him he fired some kind of energy weapon at me. Too afraid to fight me man to man, I guess. The weapon seemed to stiffle my powers.

He charged at me, slamming me hard against a wall. I banged my head pretty bad. While I was stunned he blathered on about whatever as heroes will do at that moment. Then he punched me in the stomach with his claws fully extended.

As you can imagine, having long razor sharp metal claws tear through your innards can be rather painful. For some reason, Wolverine barely scratched me though. He seemed to think he ran me through. Since I was powerless, I decided to play along. Falling to the ground I pretended to be mortally wounded.

While I lay there, the X-Men began to fall over for no apparent reason. Mystique and Master Mind ran over to me.

"Pretty good, eh boss?" Master Mind said. "I made everyone think that Canadian putz ran you through."

"Very clever," I said, getting back to my feet.

Checking the X-Men I found they were all fast asleep. My wounded Brotherhood piled into our transport, along with the giant cocoon, and we headed back to our base to recooperate.

Once there strange things began to happen to the cocoon. A woman emerged. An organic woman. My powers had almost fully returned so I followed her as she left our compound. She acted rather strange and I got the impression that she may actually have been a mutant. It seemed that Sky was somehow bonded with her. The one place that I thought I might be able to get more answers would be Xavier's mansion. He has that wonderful device Cerebro that I helped him build. Fortunately I knew the X-Men were still stuck at Cyberdyne, since I had Pyro torch their beloved X-Jet before we left.

10 Comments:

Blogger Wolverine said...

But ya haven't defeated us yet, wait when have ya ever defeated us?

12:45 AM  
Blogger Magneto said...

What, does your healing factor now heal your brain of traumatic memories? I beat the X-Men all the time. The problem is you just keep coming back for more. Why don't you just give up? There must be some nice wolves you can go hangout with in the Canadian outback.

9:09 AM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

ya cant torch the x-jet! Holographic sensors can make you think u did.

9:35 AM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

U cant tourch the X-jet!
holographic sensors can make ya think ya did.

9:36 AM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

damn blogger!

9:37 AM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear Mags,

So, you got you butt handed to yourself again....What a surprize.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris can take on the JLA and you get beat like a throw rug.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Pantha said...

Um instead of yapping you might want to keept an eye on APoc

12:55 PM  
Blogger Count Dracula said...

Apoco is mine!

12:58 PM  
Blogger captain koma said...

When do I get my turn.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Iceman said...

Sleeping with a robot , and being beat up by evreyone I used to fear you dude ! Man how the might have fallen.

1:34 PM  

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