Monday, April 24, 2006

Why Dr. Polaris is a poser wannabe

Puh-lease! Dr. Polaris? What a wimpy loser!

It takes the entire force of the entire X-Men to even try to foil one of my brilliant plans whereas Polaris gets his ass handed to him by Black Lightening, one of the third tier heroes of the Distinguished Competition. And I can't even count how many times Green Lantern has beaten him. One rinky-dink hero with gaudy jewelry for a power and Polaris folds like a soggy taco.

Yes, it's true. The X-Men have managed to delay my plans from time to time. But that is only because I restrain myself in combat with them. Yes, that's right. I hold back. Why? Because they are fellow mutants following a misguided naive leader. I pity them for their idealistic simplistic and flawed view of the world. And so I spare their lives. Rather than push our battles to the point where I am forced to slaughter them, I simply withdraw. Oh, and I could slaughter them if I wanted to.

My power is virtually unlimited. At the Earth's core is a giant metallic ball floating in a sea of lava. This ball emanates a magnetic field that surrounds the entire planet. My mutant gift lets me control this field, and therefore, in a sense, control the entire planet. I am the most powerful being in all of existence! Bwwaahahhaahaa!!!!

13 Comments:

Blogger Vampirella said...

Hmmmm.... yet Charles always beats you

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear sir,

It seems that you have come up with a case of "helmet envy".This is not good.The best thing to do is to accept size of you "helmet" and move on.

Dr.Polaris rules.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Ah, so the magnetic ball is what gives a mutant his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. Right?

9:51 AM  
Blogger Gogeta said...

So if you ever get in my way, All I have to do is destroy the planet? Oh that can be arranged

1:10 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

I/ we actually said that?

3:19 AM  
Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

I beg to differ, father. Sure you have control over the Earth's magnetic field, but what about Lorna? She does as well.

And there's Apocalypse who is nearly invincible.

Remy has the potential to be quite powerful if he wasn't such a loser. And Xavier is a very skilled telepath.

And then there is me. Little Wanda Maximoff who can take away your precious powers in the blink of an eye.

Therefore, I do not think it is wise to go around, claiming to be the most powerful mutant on the planet. That might make some others quite upset, and then they may come after you whilst you sleep.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Magneto said...

First of all, if Xavier is all so powerful, how come I can totally foil his power just by wearing my hat? Oh yeah, real impressive.

Secondly, Apocalypse is a total poser. Do you mean to tell me that guy has been alive for five thousand years and he still hasn't conquered the planet? I think it's time for him to reassess his goals.

Third, my daughter, you have proven yourself far more powerful than I think anyone ever realized. You and I should rule this galaxy as father and daughter!

6:43 AM  
Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

Not a chance, Father.

Not until Pietro has forgiven you for ignoring him. And not until you admit that you have paternal issues. I think we should go to family therapy before our relationships completely collapse.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear sir,

It seems that,on top of being in envy of Dr.Polaris greatness.You also have issues with your family.You are indeed worthy of a guest spot on "Spinger".


Dr.Polaris rules.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

I wonder if this person is dr Polaris?

6:30 PM  
Blogger Magneto said...

That is an excellent point, Vegeta. Obviously he hopes to disguise his true identity with the alias "anonymous". I should have realized it. They both end in 's'.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear sir,

I am sorry,I am not the great Dr.Polaris.I am a henchman for Graviton.My job was to keep you busy,while he makes a play for the rest of Avalon.

Long rule Graviton

PS:Dr.Polaris really does rule

8:42 PM  
Blogger Wolverine said...

Ya got Punk'd

1:03 AM  

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