Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Amazing Mutant Race 2

Somehow that liberal hippie do-gooder, Xavier, talked me into letting the contestants in his little competition stay in Avalon and Genosha. Why I ever agreed to play host to those animals I will never know.

Well, I do have some clue actually. When Xavier first asked me I naturally refused. Then he brought up the two recent rescues of me he conducted. So I was in Federal Prision. So what? Yes, he managed to break me out. And he thinks I owe him for that? I could have gotten out on my own. I am one of the most powerful mutants on the planet, you know. And just for the record, Charles, extortion is not very heroic.

The players in this silly race stayed under my hospices for two nights. Did one of them thank me? Of course not. It was terrible. And most of them are mere humans! Except for that Yoda creature. I have no idea what he is. And Vegeta and Son Goku. No one normal could ever get their hair to look like that.

What I don't understand is, why do they even bother to call it a "mutant" race if most of the contestants aren't mutants? Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator? Is that title suppose to impress me? He's just a lowly human. I bet he's the next to go.

And don't get me started on Deadpool. He's like some kind of mutant wanna-be with the personality of Bugs Bunny. If you are Daffy Duck, then Bugs Bunny is incredibly annoying, believe me.

I for one was thrilled to see Deadpool eliminated. It was also tremendously satisfying to get to give Wolverine the boot, too. That pathetic worm doesn't deserve to be called a mutant. If not for his heeling power, he would have been dead a long, long time ago.

Now that Emma Frost and Selene are the last two mutants left in the race, they had better win. Hmmm. Perhaps I'll see if I can lend them some aid. Heh heh heh.


Blogger Vegeta said...

great I see nothing ominous about that. (using telepathy) Kakarot!

5:08 PM  
Blogger Deadpool said...

YOU SUCK!!! I mean if you were a real man's mutant you would win this race. I mean after you join it.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous En Sabah Nur said...

Hm hm hm this shall be most interesting

6:59 PM  
Blogger Selene said...

It's thrilling to see the Hellfire members come through for each other!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Son Goku said...

I'm sorry I didn't realise my rudness Thank you for putting up with us.

9:42 PM  
Blogger Captain Berk said...

You smell of bricks.

Don't come anywhere near my ship or I'll stick you to a fridge door.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

But you are wrong, Magneto, I am a mutant. I have the mutant ability to not be detected as a mutant by scientific, magical, or psionic means.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Oh Erick. Stop being such a tightwad. It's just a silly race.

And if you aid Emma and Selene, then I shall just have to stop you.

Or help Oneida and Master Yoda.

9:10 PM  
Blogger * Northstar * said...

Salut Magneto. It was very good, and I use that term lightly, of you to allow some of the race to be held on your land. I as well am rooting for Selene and Emma!

A bientot.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

Oh dear, Father. You really know how to mess things up for people, don't you? How I ever managed to become as talented as I am with you in my gene pool, I'll never know.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Magneto said...

Now that's gratitude for you. I pour our my love and sweat raising my daughter to a power in the universe and do I get any love or respect in return? No. Of course not. And here I've just been slammed into by a ship going 600 miles an hour. Do I get any cards? Any flowers? Do I even have any family? Oy vez!

10:33 PM  
Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

Well what about Pietro? Or did you actually forget you have a son, Dad? I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to impress you.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Magneto said...

I do my best to forget that constant disappointment. You were always my favorite, Wanda.

3:14 PM  

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