Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Wasted Youth

As I rested in my meditation chamber, trying to drive out the dark voices that ring constantly throughout my inner mind, I was disturbed by a rapping on the door. Swallowing my fury, I gestured and the metal door swung open. It was Toad. I counted to five and decided to not destroy him.

"What is it?" I growled.

"Um, Mr. M, some of us was wanting to go to . . .er, go out. We was wonderin' if we could borrow the jet?"

" . . and where do you want to go?" I asked, barely containing my seething anger.

"Well, um, just to this place, you know?" he answered sheepishly.

"And how can I know if you don't tell me?"

"It's, um, just a . . just a show." The pathetic worm couldn't even look me in the eye. How I loathe Toad.

"And what show is it?" I asked, mockery creeping into my voice.

He didn't respond.

"Toad?" I said with unmistakable menace.

"Smiling Baby Hitlers," he whispered.

"WHAT!?!" I screamed, my powers unconsciously shaking the entire structure of our Avalon headquarters. "And where is this travisty to occur?!" I spat.

He reluctantly gave me the location of the performance and without another word, I used my magnatism powers to shoot up into the air. I flew at top speed along the magnetic force lines towards the arena where the traitor Pyro was to have his show. The journey took several hours. When I arrived, I saw him exiting a large tractor trailer. A large cloud of murky smoke exited with him.

"Pyro!" I shouted as I landed next to him. "How can you still be particpiating in this abomination?!"

"Oh, hey Mags. Like, what's goin' on?"

"What's going on is that you are worshipping at the feet of an inhuman monster! This will stop now!!"

"What? Oh, you mean the name of the band? You're still hung up on that? It's cool."

"Cool?" Incredulity dripped from my voice. "Hitler was a sadistic genocidal psychopath. All mankind deserves to die simply for him, let alone for the natural evolutionary order."

"Look man," he started, with a note of defiance in his young voice. "We aren't worshipping anybody. It's just a name, you know? I mean, I don't care about Hitler. That was like hundreds of years ago. It's got nothing to do with us."

"You are a moron," I told him. "You obviously don't know the first thing about Hitler."

"Sure I do. He, like, united Europe, right? And then he got beat at Waterhole and then retired to Elba, right?"

I stood there in stunned silence for several minutes. How on earth could someone have such a totally pathetic understanding of recent historical events?

"You were dropped on your head as a child, right?" I asked.

"Um, I don't think so."

Somehow Pyro's monumental stupidty had defeated me. I felt all of my energy drain out of my body. Without another word I took to the air and started my journey back to Avalon.
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